Char Broiled Vacation
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Lenny & Squiggy stay with Laverne after there's a fire in their apartment.
1. Default Chapter Title

** Char Broiled Vacation   
  
ONE**   
Laverne and Shirley's apartment, afternoon 

Shirley is about to go to visit her mom. 

"Well, Shirl, I think ya got everythin' now," Laverne told her, struggling with one of Shirley's suitcases, "but why're ya takin' so much?" 

"Because," Shirley said, guiding Laverne, "I want to show her how well we're doin'. Unlike when she visited here a few years ago... and her welcoming committee was Lenny and Squiggy!" She thought for a moment, "Just leave that on the sidewalk, I forgot something." Shirley went into the bedroom and came back out carrying BooBooKitty. "Now, I've got everything." 

Laverne came trudging down the stairs. "Gee, thanks for helpin', Shirl," she said, sarcastically. 

"Anytime. See you in a week," Shirley said, waved, and closed the door behind her. 

Laverne watched out through the window as Shirley got on the bus. As soon as the bus pulled away, she began dancing with joy. "The whole place to myself! Whoopee!" She paused and thought for a moment, "A party." She went over to the phone, but didn't pick up the receiver. "No, maybe I shouldn't. If I do, it'll prob'ly be crashed by a coupla no-good jerks..." 

"Hello!" Squiggy said, flinging the door open. 

"Not now, guys," Laverne said. 

"No, no. You shouldn't be alone," Lenny said. 

"Yeah, it's not safe," Squiggy added. 

Laverne chuckled. "Since when are you guys interested in my safety?" 

"Well, it's funny you should ask..." Squiggy began. 

"Can we stay wit' you for a coupla days?" Lenny asked. 

"What!? No way... Why?" Laverne asked. 

"Since our apartment is charred," Lenny answered. 

Laverne gave them a skeptical look. "Charred? As in a fire? How could there be a fire in this building and not everyone knows about it?" 

"It was a contained fire," Lenny said. 

"Yeah, we was tryin' to make a bonfire and it tried to attack us!" Squiggy said. 

Laverne felt her head beginning to hurt; her temples throbbed. She put a finger on each side and rubbed. "Guys, you're givin' me a headache..." 

"Then you sit down and we'll bring our stuff down," Lenny said. 

The boys disappeared out the door and came back; Lenny carrying a box and Squiggy carrying a brown paper bag and dragging a trash bag behind him. 

"Where do we sleep?" Squiggy asked. 

  
**TWO**   
night 

Lenny, Laverne, and Squiggy are sitting on the couch, watching TV. 

The boys' stuff is everywhere. 

Laverne crossed her arms. "C'mon guys, I've seen this movie a dozen times! It's gettin' boring!" she said, then yawned. 

"No! We is gonna watch this! I wanna see if Godzilla stomps the whole city!" Squiggy said. 

"Yeah, it's a two-to-one vote anyway," Lenny added. 

The boys' get wrapped up in the movie. 

A few minutes later, a snore is heard. 

"What was that?" Lenny asked. 

They looked at Laverne, who was now sleeping sitting up. 

"I guess that was her," Squiggy said. He paused, and a smile came across his face. "I got a idea." 

"Yeah," Lenny said, happily, "what?" 

"Let's sleep in the girls' beds," Squiggy said. 

The boys got up and went into the girls' bedroom. Squiggy took Shirley's bed and Lenny took Laverne's bed. 

  
**THREE**  
middle of the night 

The living room is pitch black and the bedroom door is closed, but light can be seen from the crack beneath it. 

Laverne is still sleeping, sitting up. She begins to tip over and wakes up as soon as she hits the cushions. "Huh? What am I doin' out here?" she said. She got up and trudged towards her bedroom, still half asleep. She didn't notice the light from the crack under the door. Laverne turned the knob and screamed. "What're ya doin' in here?!" 

Squiggy shot up. "The huns! The huns...!" 

Lenny sat up and threw a pillow at him. "Wake up, we been found out." 

"Out!" Laverne said, going over to Lenny. She grabbed his arm and began pulling. "Don't make me hafta hurt you two!" 

"Hey..." Lenny said. He tried to yank his arm out of Laverne's grasp, but she held on and fell across the bed. 

"Wrestling match front row seats!" Squiggy said, applauding. 

Laverne looked at him. "This is not a wrestling match..." 

"Then why're ya lyin' on my legs?" Lenny asked. 

Suddenly, Carmine appeared in the doorway. "I thought I heard a scream... What the heck is goin' on?" He came in and helped Laverne get up off of the bed. 

"Nothin'," Lenny said. 

Squiggy nodded his head, agreeing with Lenny. 

"It's alright, Carmine. Why don'tcha go back home and go to bed," Laverne said. 

"You sure..." Carmine said. 

"Yeah, I let 'em stay here... long story," Laverne paused, "go back to bed." 

Carmine turned and left. 

Laverne turned back to the boys. Squiggy was fast asleep and Lenny was rubbing his arm. 

"How does he fall asleep that fast?" Laverne asked, pointing at Squiggy. She went over and sat at the foot of what was her bed, saring at Lenny. "Are you gonna go peacefully or..." she stopped, noticing that he wasn't paying attention, but inspecting is arm. "You alright?" she asked. 

Lenny kept checking his arm. "Yeah," he said. He started to check his hand and bent his wrist. He squealed. "Maybe I shouldn't've pulled on ya." 

"I'll getcha some ice," Laverne said and went out into the living room. She came back with a bag of ice. "Here." 

"Thanks," Lenny said, taking the bag of ice. 

Laverne sat silently for a moment. "Well, I guess the couch isn't that bad. You stay here. I'll just get a pillow and blanket out of the closet." She got up, went over to the closet, opened the door, and stepped in, bracing an arm against the stuff on the top shelf. A few minutes later, Laverne emerged with a pillow and a blanket. Squiggy was now snoring and Lenny was asleep with the ice pack still on his wrist. She suddenly felt guilty for trying to kick them out of her bedroom when all she had to do was get a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the couch, like she was about to do anyway. 

  
**FOUR**  
morning 

Laverne is still on the couch, asleep. The bedroom door opens and Squiggy comes out, still in his pajamas. He tiptoes up to the couch. "Sleepin' beauty," he said, leaned over, and gave Laverne a kiss. She sceamed and lashed out, slapping him in the face. 

Squiggy put a hand on his cheek. "Geez, you're dangerous!" 

Laverne sat up. "I'm sorry... Don't EVER do that again!" 

"How else was I gonna wake ya up?" Squiggy asked. 

"Try an alarm clock," Laverne answered, getting up. She began folding the blanket. 

"That didn't work - you threatened us wit' it after," Squiggy said. 

Laverne to face Squiggy. "I'm gonna take this stuff and put it back in the closet. I'l be right back... And don't touch nothin'!" She pushed past him and went into the bedroom. She opened the closet door and half of its contents fell on her, knocking her to the ground. 

"Oh... that was fun," Laverne mumbled. She started to climb out of the mess, putting a hand on one thing to push herself up, and she tumbled back into the mess. She heard laughter from behind her. She turned and saw Lenny laughing. 

"What's so funny?" Laverne asked. 

Lenny kept laughing. "You... that stuff... fall over..." 

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Laverne said. She pushed everything off of her and, finally, got back on her feet. She looked around at the mess. "Why is most of this stuff Shirl's?" She knelt down and started picking up stuff. 

Lenny came over and started helping, still snickering. "Sorry... I needed a laugh." 

"Well, you got your laugh and..." Laverne paused, picking up a picture. She looked at it through squinted eyes. She turned in one direction, then the other. She began laughing. 

"What is it?" Lenny asked. 

"Look," Laverne laughed, showing him the picture. It was taken in their sophomore year of high school of the five of them. "I forgot about this!" 

"I like how Shirley's about slap Squig and Carmine looks like he's gonna pound him!" Lenny said. 

Laverne held the picture closer to her face, as if looking for something. 

Lenny stood up and started kicking some blankets back into the closet. 

"Hey, Len," Laverne said, standing up, "do you remember when this was taken? It looks like I'm wearin' your jacket... It also looks like you'd just been in a fight - your arm's in a sling." She gave the picture to him.   
Lenny took the picture, turned it sideways, held it up to the light, and then looked at it normally. "I think it's sophomore year... Remember, I fell off the roof of my house and broke my arm." He shook his head. "Memories." 

Laverne snatched the picture away from him. "It doesn't take much to get ya sentimental, does it?" 

"Huh?" 

"Never mind," Laverne said. She put the picture on Shirley's bed, then started picking stuff up off the floor, and cramming it back in the closet. 

  
**FIVE**   
Shotz Brewery breakroom, noontime 

Laverne is sitting alone at her usual table. 

"I hate a late lunch," Laverne whispered to herself. 

The last few people who were in the breakroom left, leaving Laverne alone. 

She looked around the room. "I'm alone... this is what I get for comin' in late," she told herself. 

The door to the breakroom opened and Lenny came in. "Hi, Laverne!" he said, going over to the snack machine. 

"You're awfully cheerful - why?" Laverne asked, skeptically. 

Lenny came over and sat at Laverne's table. "Because," he said, laying his bandaged wrist on the table. 

"What'd you tell 'em?" Laverne asked, devilishly. 

"I told 'em I hurt it on the loading dock - so Squig's out doin' both his shift and mine while I get to sit around and do nothin' and still get paid," Lenny answered. 

"Awe, I wish I could have somethin' like that happen to me," Laverne semi-whined. 

Lenny glared at her. 

"I know, I know, 'Don't whine!'," Laverne said. 

  
Stay tuned for part 2!


	2. Default Chapter Title

**SIX**  
Laverne and Shirley's apartment, early evening 

The door opens and Laverne's key is stuck in the lock. She starts pulling on it while the boys come in arguing. 

"It ain't my fault they gave you my shift!" Lenny argued. 

"Yes it is! I bet you had this all planned out!" Squiggy argued back. 

"Boys," Laverne said, yanking one last time on the key, finally getting it out of the lock, "will you knock it off! And I thought me and Shirl were bad." She went across the room to the kitchen. "Hasn't your apartment been... de-charred yet?" Laverne asked, getting a glass out of the cabinet. 

Squiggy took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. "It'll be in four days." 

"Four days?! That's most of my vacation from Shirley!" Laverne complained. 

"Thems the breaks!" Squiggy said. 

Laverne got the milk and a bottle of Pepsi from the fridge and sat at the kitchen table. 

Lenny came over and sat down at the table with her. "Sorry 'bout ruinin' your vacation." 

Laverne started mixing her milk'n'Pepsi "It's okay - I'd be alone otherwise," she said, then took a drink. 

"Is that good?" Lenny asked. 

"This? Yeah. Want some?" Laverne asked, stretching out her arm, putting the glass right in Lenny's face. 

"Uh..." Lenny paused, "sure." He took the glass and looked inside first, then drank some. 

"Well?" Laverne asked. 

Lenny put the glass on the table. "...That's not bad!" 

"Tell Shirl that. She makes a face everytime... and she's never even tried it... I don't think," Laverne said. 

"Yeah, she did. Remember, we were doin' Alice In Wonderland..." Lenny said. 

Laverne slapped her forehead. "That's right - she wanted lemonade... oops!" she said and began laughing. 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. 

"Laverne!" 

Laverne's eyes went wide. "My pop! I bet Carmine told him about out little fight last night." 

"Laverne!" 

The knocking became pounding. 

"Comin' pop!" Laverne said, loudly, getting up. 

"Want us to hide?" Lenny asked as Laverne walked by. 

"No - maybe if you guys explain, he won't give ya a smack," Laverne said. She got over to the door and opened it. 

Frank charged in. "You!" 

Laverne grabbed his arm. "Pop, it's okay. They've got no place to stay - they had a fire in their apartment..." 

"Bonfire," Squiggy corrected, still watching TV. 

Laverne slapped the back of his head and mumbled, "Don't help!" 

"Then why don't they stay with Carmine?" Frank asked. 

"Because Carmine can't stand them. Especially after Squiggy's sleepwalking the last time," Laverne answered. 

"Then you come stay with me," Frank said. 

"Uh, no, Pop, because I'd be too worried that they'd set fire here!" Laverne said. She began pushing Frank towards the door. "Everything's okay, Pop, don't worry..." 

"Okay, okay," Frank said and left. 

Laverne closed the door, leaned against it, and sighed. 

"Boy, did you almost get it," Squiggy said. 

"Huh?" Laverne questioned. 

"Not you - him," Squiggy said, pointing at Lenny. 

"Why me?" Lenny asked. 

"She were layin' on your bed when Carmine came in last night," Squiggy said. 

Lenny started to go over to the couch, but Laverne waved him off 

Laverne picked up a pillow. "Squig?" 

"Yeah - " Squiggy started and turned, getting a pillow in the face. 

  
**SEVEN**   
mid-evening 

Lenny is watching TV, when Laverne comes in the room. 

"I hate Spring cleaning!... Where's Squig?" Laverne asked, sweeping the floor with her broom. 

"He had a date - someone he met on what woulda been my shift," Lenny answered. 

Laverne stopped sweeping and looked at him. "Jealous?..." 

"No," Lenny said, quickly, "besides, she's more Squig's type anyway." 

"Sorry," Laverne sad, turning back to the bedroom. She flipped the light switch, the light blinked, and popped. She dropped her broom on he floor and put her hands on her hips. "I hate it when I does that!" Lavern said. "Now, I gotta replace the lightbulb..." he paused, "Hey, Len, would ya put the bulb in? I really don't feel like trying to find a ladder." 

"Sure," Lenny said, getting up. 

Laverne got the new bulb and the two went in the bedroom. She gave him the bulb. 

Lenny put it in. "Anythin' else? I might as well help ya." 

Laverne thought for a moment. "Uh... I don't think there's anythin' else - I don't wanna throw out somethin' of Shirl's and have her yellin' at me for weeks after." 

"Okay," Lenny said. He went back into the living room and plopped on the couch. 

Laverne followed him. She went behind the couch and pulled out a photo album, brought it with her to the front of the couch, and sat next to Lenny. 

"What's that? I thought only Shirl had one-a those," Lenny said. 

"Well, I saw how Shirl always acted and... well... I promised myself that as long as I don't squeal the way she does that I would keep one of my own," Laverne said, opening the album. "It's not really of my family - it's mostly of me, Shirl, Carmine, you, and Squig... but not Squig too much. I'm afraid he's gonna crack my camera lens one of these days," she chuckled. 

Lenny giggled. "So that's why his mom don't have 'ny pictures of him!" 

Laverne turned the page and immediately covered a picture with her hand. She began to turn to the next page. 

"Hey, what's that?" Lenny asked, trying to pry Laverne's hand off of the picture. 

"It's nothin'... nothin' at all..." 

Lenny finally got her hand off of it. It was a picture of the two of them after Laverne found out he had a crush on her. "What's wrong with that?" 

"Uh... well... I... dunno. I mean," Laverne paused and sighed, "Squig's on a date... and we're... just sittin' here." 

"Yeah, so? Whadya think I'm gonna flip out over ya again! No way, I learned... we're friends and that's it," Lenny said and crossed his arms. 

"I'm sorry," Laverne paused, then mumbled, "I keep apologizing!" She sighed again. "So, do ya think Squig's gonna be back tonight?" 

"Prob'ly, but it depends on how long she can stand him..." Lenny said. 

They looked at each other and shook their heads. "Not long!" they said in unison. 

  
**EIGHT**  
six days later, early morning 

Shirley has just gotten home. She's looking at the mess around her. "Laverne!" 

Laverne comes running out of the bedroom. "Shirl!" 

The two collide in a hug, then separate. 

"Laverne, what's with the mess? I thought you were gonna do some Spring cleaning?" Shirley asked. 

"Well," Laverne said, looking around the room, "I didn't wanna throw somethin' of yours out and have ya yellin' at me for weeks after and..." 

"Laverne!" 

Shirley got a weird look on her face. "What was that?" 

"Huh? What was what?" Laverne asked. 

"Laverne!" 

"That!" Shirley exclimed, getting frustrated. 

"Well, we were tryin' to clean that stupid closet... you know, how everythin' falls out when ya open the door..." Laverne began. 

"Laverne!" 

Suddenly, there was a crash, then a high-pitched yelp. 

"Laverne!" 

Shirley put a hand on Laverne's shoulder. "Before we find out what that was, answer me this: who is 'we'? You and who?" 

"Follow me," Laverne said and began pulling Shirley into the bedroom. 

In the bedroom, stuff from the girls' closet was all over the room. 

Shirley screamed and covered half of her face with her hands, but stopped when she saw something move. "Laverne," she said, pointing a finger. 

Laverne chuckled. "Don't worry," she said, trudging through the mess. She found a hand and pulled. "It's only Lenny," she said, pulling him out of the mess. 

"Talk about a avalanche!" Lenny said. "Hi-ya, Shirl!" 

"Hi... Len," Shirley said. She came up to the edge of the mess. "I didn't know there was this much junk in that closet..." she paused, seeing Lenny's bandaged wrist, "What happened?!" Shirley began climbing through the mess to get to him. 

"Oh, Shirl, you freak out about everythin'. He's fine," Laverne told her. 

Lenny nodded his head in agreement. 

"You know, I was going to ask about what happned while I was gone... but now I don't really wanna know!" Shirley said, wading out of the mess. 

"C'mon, Shirl, lemme tell ya!" Laverne said, following her, leaving Lenny still standing in the mess. 

Shirley entered the living room and screamed. Squiggy was sitting on their couch. 

Laverne came up ehind her. "Now, do ya wanna know the story?... I have a shortened version?" 

Shirley sighed. "Just tell me why Lenny and Squiggy are here." 

"Our apartment got charred," Squiggy said, fiddling with the TV antenna. 

"Charred?" Shirley asked. 

"They had a little fire, so I let them stay here. Of course, their apartment was fixed up three days ago, but they wouldn't leave..." Laverne began to explain. 

"Wait, they've been here all week... with you?" Shirley asked. 

"I wasn't gonna leave 'em here. They'd prob'ly set fire here..." Laverne said. 

"Are you nuts?!" Shirley yelled. "Those two... you... here... alone..." 

"Whoa, Shirl, calm down. Boy, everybody just wants to freak out - Carmine, my pop..." Laverne said. 

Lenny came out of the girls' bedroom and walked up behind the girls. 

"Laverne, I don't care. Just get them outta here!" Shirley said, going over to Squiggy. "C'mon, get outta here!" She grabbed his arm and began pulling. 

"Hey, I'll go when I'm good an' ready," Squiggy said. 

"GET OUT!" Shirley yelled. 

Squiggy backed off. "Okay, okay, I'm ready." He gathered his stuff and left, with Shirley watching him the whole time. 

She turned and saw Laverne standing there, not doing anything, with Lenny behind her. "Laverne," she said, motioning her finger to signal Laverne to turn around. 

Laverne turned around right into Lenny, who put his arms around her and kissed her. As soon as she realized what happened, she gave him a shove. "I thought ya said ya weren't gonna do that," Laverne said. 

"I lied," Lenny said, shrugging his shoulders. 

Laverne picked up a pillow and Lenny made a run for it, grabbing his stuff as he headed for the door and ran out and up the stairs. 

Laverne went up to the door, closed it, and turned around slowly to face Shirley, who now had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot on the floor in disgust. 

"Laverne..." Shirley started. 

"Ya know, Shirl," Laverne said, coming up next to Shirley. She put an arm around Shirley's shoulders. "He may be a little dense, but Lenny's not too shabby at kissin'!" 

Shirley freaked out and began chasing Laverne around their apartment. 

  
THE END :)~


End file.
